Xmas Has Been Xed chords by NOFX

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Intro

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D/--------------0--------------5----------|
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E/-----------------1----------------------|

E/------------------------------------------------------------|
B/------------------------------------------------------------|
G/5555-7777-----------5555-5555-7777--------------------------|
D/5555-7777-1212-1010-5555-5555-7777-1212-1010----------------|
A/3333-5555-8-8-7-7---3333-3333-5555-8-8-7-7------------------|
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Verse
C                 Dm
It's funny how some fables became historic
G                     Am
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
F                    C
But people will believe anything if it's written
Dm                G
Especially in stone or ancient scroll
C           Dm
December 25th has been blacklisted
G                     Am
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
C                 F
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
G
Xmas has been X'd

Chorus
      C          F
No colored lights, no shopping sprees
    G          C
No more presents under dead trees
      Am        F
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve
    G            C
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Verse
C             Dm
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
G                Am
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
F                C
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Dm                  G
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other
C                  Dm
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
G               Am
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist
C                 F
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
  G
Cuz Easter's canceled too

Chorus
      C        F
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
      G           C
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash
       Am          F
They canceled lent and slowed down fast
   G            C
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last
      F
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
    G                     C
No more presents (we don't need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights)
      Am                 F
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
    G                   C
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve