The Shit Song chords by Loudon Wainwright Iii

G                         D
When I run into friends of mine I haven't seen in years,
D                            G
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears.
G                              C
Then they pronounce me 'looking great', I haven't changed a bit,
          G        D  C Bm7 D  G
I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I know I look like sh*t.

G                             D
'Cos I saw myself this morning, phew, and I know of what I speak.
D                   G
I'm a human being, but I look like I reek.
G                            C
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it,
             G       D  C  Bm7 D  G
'Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like sh*t.

C               G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
 A7                 D   C     D
I guess that I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses.
G                     D
The guy that's me, who's in my dreams, is twenty-five or six,
D                          G
I'm old enough to be his dad, how's that for parlour tricks?
G                          C
Life's a job you're fired from, unless of course you quit,
       Bm7   G     D       C Bm7  D  G
Gee, I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like sh*t?
        D            Em G
Let's ask him! 'scuse me? No, over here!

G                D
Although I know it's natural, I still can't understand.
                            G
Once I looked like a million bucks, now, more like two grand.
G                          C
We start out with a lot of time, but what happens to it?
           G          C  Bm7 D  G
Times flies when you f**k around and then you look like sh*t!
G                      C
Oh, ain't it the truth, brothers and sisters?

C               G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
 A7                 D             D6
'Sh*t's a gift we make', Freud said, here, take mine won't you please?'

G               D7       D
Growing old ain't easy, it's a process so they say.
                       G
We proceed to our grand finale, every single day.
                        C
But dying doesn't worry me, I'm not bothered a bit,
           G     D      C  Bm7 D  G