The Shit Song chords by Loudon Wainwright Iii

G                                                 D
When I run into friends of mine I haven't seen in years,
D                                                       G
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears.
G                                                           C
Then they pronounce me 'looking great', I haven't changed a bit,
                   G               D    C Bm7  D    G
I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I know I look like sh*t.

G                                                          D
'Cos I saw myself this morning, phew, and I know of what I speak.
D                                     G
I'm a human being, but I look like I reek.
G                                                        C
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it,
                         G              D    C   Bm7  D    G
'Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like sh*t.

C                              G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
  A7                                 D      C         D
I guess that I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses.
G                                         D
The guy that's me, who's in my dreams, is twenty-five or six,
D                                                    G
I'm old enough to be his dad, how's that for parlour tricks?
G                                                    C
Life's a job you're fired from, unless of course you quit,
              Bm7     G         D              C  Bm7   D    G
Gee, I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like sh*t?
               D                       Em G
Let's ask him! 'scuse me? No, over here!

G                               D
Although I know it's natural, I still can't understand.
                                                       G
Once I looked like a million bucks, now, more like two grand.
G                                                    C
We start out with a lot of time, but what happens to it?
                     G                    C   Bm7  D    G
Times flies when you f**k around and then you look like sh*t!
G                                            C
Oh, ain't it the truth, brothers and sisters?

C                              G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
 A7                                  D                         D6
'Sh*t's a gift we make', Freud said, here, take mine won't you please?'

G                              D7              D
Growing old ain't easy, it's a process so they say.
                                             G
We proceed to our grand finale, every single day.
                                               C
But dying doesn't worry me, I'm not bothered a bit,
                      G          D           C   Bm7 D    G