Xmas chords by Taylor Corey

Intro
F#              B               F#              Db              F#
Ho Ho Ho Ho!

F#

F#                            B   Db              F#
There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
F#                B      Db       F#
Gussied up with candy canes and balls
B                                    F#
Those carollers have kept me up for hours
       C#                                  C#  B  G#   F#
It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
F#                B      Db          F#
Now I'm no Wiccan commie nut or nothing
                  B
But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
F#                                    F#    F     Eb
It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
             B           C#            F#
But it'll surely make a fool out of every man

HA!

Chorus
                               B
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
                                      F#         B          C#      F#
You know where to stick those jingle bells
                                Db
If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah
                                F#                B          C#    F#
And all you motherfuckers go to hell
                               B
If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanza
                               F#          B           C#       F#
Joy to the world and jack and coke
                                Db
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

Db
Cause I ain't ever anything but broke


F#              B               F#              Db              F#


Verse

F#                    B    Db       F#
Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
F#              B        Db         F#
Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
B                                  F#
Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
          C#                                  C#  B  G#   F#
And those coloured lights are fucking infantile
F#                 B    Db    F
I think we collectively as a people
F#                B        Db            F#
Should rise against this corporate jolly noise

And tell the world:
F#                           F#     F        Eb
"Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change"
   B                C#             F#           B           Db
Before we spend it all on fucking toys.

HA


Chorus
                               B
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
                                      F#         B          C#      F#
You know where to stick those jingle bells
                             Db
If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah
Db (stop)                       F#         B          C#      F#
Fa la la la la go fuck yourself!
                               B
If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanza
                               F#          B           C#       F#
Joy to the world of getting stoned

                                    Db
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas

   Db
So leave this god damn scrooge the fuck alone.


F#  End with:   F    F#

HA

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!