The Biggest Aspidistra In The World chords by Gracie Fields

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XROMw3Z4e0

[Intro]
E7 Fdim7 Bm/F# G E7 A  Adim7 E7 A

[Verse 1]
  A        C#7       D/F#
For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
    Bm7        A         B7  E
On the whatnot, near the 'atstand in the 'all
A         E7      C#m7       F#m
It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe
   E            B7      E7 B7 E
Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall
    A7                G  D
So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
     B7                E7
And he's planted it against the garden wall

[Bridge]
A     Adim  A         A   Adim     A
It shot up like a rocket, 'til it's nearly touched the sky
    A          B7   E7
It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
Bm     Bdim  Bm      Bm   Bdim   Bm
We couldn't see the top of it, it got so bloomin' high
     E7   Fdim7 Bm/F#  G E7   A
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world
   C#m      G#7       C#m
When father's had a skin full at his pub, 'The Bunch of Grapes'
  C#m      G#7       B7      E
He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
      A    Aaug  F#7        Bm      E7
No, you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
    E7   Fdim7 Bm/F# G E7 A
Up the biggest aspi - distra in the world

[Verse 2]
  A       C#7       D/F#     A
We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
    Bm7      A           B7  E
So they put the water rates up half a crown
  A         E7      C#m7       F#m
The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes
     E       B7        E  B7 E7
And they came up half a mile outside the town
    A7                G  D
Once we hired the Crystal Palace for an 'ot house
    B7               E7  B7 E
But a jealous rival went and burnt it down

[Bridge 2]
  A    Adim  A        A      Adim   A
The tom cats and the moggies love to spend their evenings out
    A         B7   E7
Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
   Bm  Bdim Bm       Bm   Bdim  Bm
They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
    E7   Fdim7 Bm/F# G E7 A
Up the biggest aspi - distra in the world
  C#m       G#7        C#m  B7    E
The dogs line up for miles and miles a funny sight to see
   C#m       G#7  F#7     B7          E7
They sniff around for hours on end and wag their tails with glee
    A      Aaug  F#7  Bm      E7
So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree
     E7   Fdim7 Bm/F# G E7 A
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world

[Bridge 3]
   A   Adim   A       A     Adim  A
It's getting worn and weary and its leaves are turning grey
    A         B7   E7
Its the oldest aspidistra in the world
   Bm  Bdim  Bm       Bm   Bdim Bm
So we water it with half a pint of Guiness every day
    E7    Fdim7  Bm/F# G E7 A
Its the stoutest aspid - istra in the world
  C#m       G#7        C#m  B7   E
The borough council told us that we've got to chop it down
  C#m      G#7        F#7     B7
It interferes with aeroplanes that fly above the town
E   A      Aaug F#7    Bm      E7
So we sold it to a wood yard for a lousy half a crown
     E7   Fdim7 Bm/F# G E7 A    A  Adim7 E7 A
It's the biggest aspi - distra in the world

[Outro]
N.C.