If Stuart Could Talk chords by The Dickies

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Intro:
A D F D
A D F D
A D F D
A G F

Verse 1:
  A                        Esus           E
I got a little friend he's with me to the end
A                 Esus E
What does he say?
A                          Esus      E
I ask him for opinions and political decisions
A                   Esus E
Each and every day

Prechorus:
  D                      A           B        E
I know that it's a dream and obscene anyway

Chorus:
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A             D      F           D            A  G  F
Now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?


Verse 2:
A                      Esus       E
Whenever i'm alone i'm really not alone
A                   Esus  E
He's always there
A                                 Esus            E
When I am going to falter and I'm standing at the altar
A                        Esus E
And there's not a prayer

Prechorus:
  D                   A              B              E
I know it's up to him if have to sin there's a way

   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
          A             D      F           D           A  D F
Well now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?
D       A   G F
Talk to me

Interlude:
B
What would he say?
B
What would he say?
B
What would he say?
B
What would he say?
B                         A    F#     B                  A    F#
(spoken) "Yes, my name is Stuart, and I assure you I can speak
B                        A     F#
And lately I find myself astounded
B               A          F#
At the sort of company you keep
C#                       B      G#
Something further I must mention
C#                    B         G#
Of this fact I cannot understand
        C#         B        G#
Is your insatiable attention
   C                     B    G#
At annoying me with your hand.

       E             F#  D
And in closing may I offer
     E                F#   D
This point must be succint
   E                    F#   D
My purpose is for procreation
        E                    C#  D
And not facilitating in your sink.

Chorus:
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A                  E             D
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
          A                  E             D
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
          A                  E             D
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
          A                  E             D
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
          A                  E             D
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)

Outro:
          A             D      F           D           A   D F
Well now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?
D          A  D
Talk to me
F             D       A
Stuey can you talk to me?

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Note: when playing a "typical" live version of the song, the interlude often begins with a snippet
of the Barney the Dinosaur theme ("I love you, you love me...") and the last line of the outro would
typically segue into a twisted cover of The Who's "See Me Feel Me/Listening to Stu".