Vasectomy Song chords by John Williamson

Chords with lyrics

Intro:
FF   Bb majorBb  C majorC   FF

Verse:
   FF           Bb majorBb
It's just a modern world we live in,
  FF          C majorC
but why do they pick on me
  FF
Why just the other week
  Bb majorBb       FF
my missus had the cheek
  G+G            C majorC
to talk me into a va-sec-tom-y
  FF              Bb majorBb       FF
At first it never clicked that I was gettin' nicked,
FF                C majorC
I thought it was to test virility
   FF
Than after I went through it,
   Bb majorBb       FF
ten days we couldn't do it
   G+G           C majorC
and then the doctor said to me

(I couldn't believe it folks - He said)

Chorus:
    FF             Bb majorBb
please blow into this bag, please sir (What?)
  FF         C majorC
to test your capability  (I beg your pardon?)
   FF          Bb majorBb
we're cutting down on accidents (I said are you fair dinkum He said)
    FF       C majorC       FF
please blow into this bag and we'll see


Spoken:
FF
Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what they say about doctors orders.
FF
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the little room with all the pin-ups.
FF
Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my little bag
FF
And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I


Verse:
   FF            Bb majorBb
It's just a modern world we live in,
    FF            C majorC
there's new fangled things every day
  FF
The cop said I was speedin',
 Bb majorBb       FF
accordin' to his readin'
   G+G           C majorC
But I was three kilometres away
   FF            Bb majorBb       FF
I was feelin' pretty mad when he took out his pad,
 FF                C majorC
I tried to stay as calm as I could be
  FF           Bb majorBb        FF
He found a baldy tread, he saw my eyes were red
  G+G                 C majorC
And then he said this strange thing to me (I said what again? He said)

Chorus:
    FF             Bb majorBb
please blow into this bag, please sir (I said hang on)
  FF         C majorC
to test your capability    (What?)
   FF          Bb majorBb
we're cutting down on accidents (I said are you fair dinkum? He said)
    FF       C majorC       FF
please blow into this bag and we'll see


Spoken:
FF
Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could see I was a bit excited
FF
He said well you better take a good grip on yourself son.
FF
So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back with my little bag.
FF
Well you can imagine what happened


{Verse}
FF              Bb majorBb
It's just a modern world we live in,
   FF          C majorC
I'm feelin' very sad and pale
  FF             Bb majorBb       FF
The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick
  G+G                C majorC
And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
  FF            Bb majorBb
So take it from a fool like me,
   FF          C majorC
beware of quacks and boys in blue
  FF             Bb majorBb        FF
I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused
  G+G            C majorC
I'd catch a train if I was you-ou  (All together now)


Outro:
    FF             Bb majorBb
please blow into this bag, please sir
    FF            C majorC
Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
    FF             Bb majorBb
Please blow into this bag, please sir
    FF      C majorC        Bb majorBb    FF
If the women don't get you, it's the wine