Chords with lyrics
Tuning: Standard (
E MajorE 
A augmentedA 
D MajorD 
G+G 
BB E MajorE)
MEG
Ugh fine. (types) Hi.
Intro:
C majorC 
A7A7 
D7D7 G+G
C majorC A7A7 D7D7 
G6G6 G+G+ G+G
BRAM
Thanks for responding! Can I have your number? Tinder is so glitchy so it’s better if you give me your number.
That’ll be better. Less glitchy than Tinder. Please give me your number.
MEG
Huh… sure…
BRAM
Verse:
C majorC 
A minorAm 
FF G+G
WE START OUR CONVERSATION; I’M CHARMING AS CAN BE
C majorC A minorAm FF G+G
YOU’RE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS HERE; THAT MUCH I CAN SEE
FF G+G A minorAm D MajorD
YOU’RE GORGEOUS, BRIGHT, AND TALENTED; CAN’T YOU FEEL US CLICK?
FF G+G
OH SO GREAT, I CANNOT WAIT!- HAVE A augmentedA PICTURE OF MY DICK!
Chorus:
ALL DUDES
C majorC 
AbAb G+G 
G/BG/B
A augmentedA DICK PIC, A augmentedA DICK PIC-
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
A augmentedA FREE, FOR GRATIS DICK PIC!
BRAM
FF 
Eb MajorEb G+G
PICK-UP LINES CAN FEEL SO SLICK
ALL DUDES
G+G 
G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
LET’S SKIP AHEAD TO DICK!
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B (as needed)
(underneath: DICK DICK DICK DICK…)
Verse:
WILLY
C majorC Eb MajorEb FF G+G FF
I’M NOT HERE FOR A augmentedA HOOK-UP; I WANT TO DATE FULL TIME
C majorC Eb MajorEb FF G+G FF
I’VE GOT THAT OLD SCHOOL CHIVALRY THAT HOPES FOR WEDDING CHIMES
FF G+G A minorAm D MajorD
IF YOU WOULD TAKE A augmentedA CHANCE ON ME, NOTHING COULD COME BETWEEN US
FF G+G G/AG/A G/Bb G/BG/B
I KNOW THAT YOU’RE THE TYPE OF GIRL WHO’D LOVE TO SEE MY PENIS!
Chorus:
ALL DUDES
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
A augmentedA PENIS! A augmentedA PENIS!
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
YOU WISH THAT YOU COULD SCREEN US!
WILLY
FF Eb MajorEb G+G
IS IT SPECIAL? TELL IT, QUICK!
ALL DUDES
G+G G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
HIT ‘LIKE’ FOR MY OL’ DICK!
Interlude:
C majorC AbAb G+G
Bridge:
Am7Am7
WANNA TASTE OF JUST THE TIP?
D MajorD 
D#dimD#dim 
E7E7
BOYS OF THE WORLD, LET’S ALL UNZIP!
Interlude:
A augmentedA
DUSTIN
Here’s how you say penis in a lot of different languages!
Bridge:
Bb majorBb
Finnish: Penis!
Romanian: Penis!
BB
Turkish: Penis!
Afrikaans: Penis!
C majorC
Haitian Creole: Penis!
Yiddish: Penis!
Interlude:
C majorC 
C/GC/G C majorC C/GC/G C majorC 
C/BC/B 
C/AC/A C/GC/G
Verse:
C majorC
A augmentedA SMILE IS THE SAME IN EVERY LANGUAGE
Bb majorBb
AND SO IS THE WORD PENIS
C majorC
EXCEPT FOR ALL THE COUNTRIES ON THE ASIAN CONTINENT
D MajorD G+G
AND ALL THE OTHER COUNTRIES WE DECIDED TO IGNORE!
Interlude:
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B x2
Verse:
C majorC Eb MajorEb FF G+G FF
GENDER’S NOT DEFINED BY GENITALIA
C majorC Eb MajorEb FF G+G FF
BUT WHO CARES? JOIN THE BACCHANALIA
FF G+G A minorAm D MajorD
ALL MEN WITH MEMBERS MISUNDERSTOOD
FF G+G G/AG/A G/Bb G/BG/B
COME JOIN THE BONER BROTHERHOOD!
Chorus:
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
A augmentedA DICK PIC, A augmentedA DICK PIC
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
ALL HAIL ETERNAL DICK PIC!
FF Eb MajorEb G+G
DON’T THINK WE’RE ALL LUNATICS-
G+G G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
ALL DUDES LOVE TEXTING DICKS!
Interlude:
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
Bridge:
FF Eb MajorEb G+G
DON’T TELL US IT MAKES YOU SICK!
G+G G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
YOU MUST CHECK OUT OUR DICK!
Interlude:
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
Bridge:
FF Eb MajorEb
SEXUAL HARRASSMENT’S NO PICNIC
G+G G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B C majorC (FALSE ENDING)
IT’S LOTS OF WORK TO DISTRI - BUTE DICK!
Instrumental:
G7G7
Verse:
DUSTIN
C majorC A minorAm FF G+G
I FINANCED MY OWN START-UP; GOT MONEY BY THE TONS
C majorC A minorAm FF G+G
TOOK A augmentedA VOW OF MODESTY; BOTH MY MOMS WERE NUNS
FF G+G A minorAm D MajorD
LET’S GO GET DESSERT SOME TIME- I’LL SPRING FOR A augmentedA LA MODE
FF G+G
I’LL PICK YOU UP AT 8 OR- WAIT A augmentedA SECOND, HERE’S MY CHODE!
Chorus:
ALL DUDES
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
A augmentedA CHODE PIC, A augmentedA CHODE PIC
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B
YOU’VE HIT THE MOTHERLOAD PIC!
DUDE
FF Eb MajorEb G+G
SOME ARE ODDLY REALLY THICK!
ALL DUDES
G+G G/AG/A G/BG/B C majorC
A augmentedA SMORGASBORD OF DICK!
Interlude:
C majorC AbAb G+G G/BG/B x2
Outro:
(an acapella choir arises in the final moments!)
DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK
DICK
