The Lodger chords by Jake Thackray

Stunned to find not a single Jake Thackray ballad here.
If you've not heard any of Jake's work then I strongly suggest you check him out
on Youtube and read his bio at www.jakethackray.com
A true wordsmith in idiosyncratic English humour.

The Lodger – Jake Thackray


E
My landlady had three lovely daughters.
       Am
They used to come and make my bed each day
     E
They used to come and clean my living quarters,
          Am
But their mother made quite sure they didn't stay.
          F
There was Mary: she seemed chary;
          E
There was Helen: she seemed well and truly sceptical
              Am
about my qualities;
          C
There was Julie: she was truly well-proportioned, but her
                Am
Caution Brought exhaustion on my aching arteries.

          E
But I was wrong: they weren't at all impervious
       Am
To the possibilities of high romance -
      E
And I sensed a certain girlish nerviness
       Am
In the way they folded my pyjama pants.
          F
And I was right, for late one night
             C
Sweet little Mary, like a fairy,
         Am
As I lay sleeping, came a-creeping to my side.
        C
She was mine: it was divine - but we were doomed, for very soon
         Am
Into the room came sister Helen, and she cried:

  A
"Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went.
      A
"Now, young man," Helen said, "for your punishment,
  A
"We mustn't have a fight, we mustn't make a row:
  Am
"Turn off the light - it's my turn now!"


      E
Well, after all, I'm young and relatively vigorous,
    Am
And though I still protest my innocence,
   E
By temperament I'm strictly un-polygamous,
         Am
And if I sinned, I sinned in self-defence.
        C
Nevertheless I must confess I wouldn't miss that
        Am
sort of bliss And when it ended I was rendered comatose.
      C
When, loud and clear, very near, in my ear a loud
                 Am
voice spoke  And I was awoken from my post-coital doze.

  A
"Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away.
      A
"Now, young man," Julie said, "you will have to pay!
A
"You've blighted Helen's charms, filched her purity.
Am
"Open up your arms - come and filch me!"

      E
I was amazed, and really rather tired;
  Am
I thought I'd given all that I could give.
    E
A little kip was all that I desired,
        Am
But I'm British, so my upper lip was stiff.
        C
She was chaotic, idiotic, quite exotic and ecstatic,
    Am
Acrobatic and emphatically fine.
       C
All to no good, for when I could open my eyes, to my
           Am
surprise I found her mother looking into mine.


  A
"Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the scene.
     A
"Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know the old routine.
A
"I'll do what you like, but I shall be vexed
          Am
"And I'll bloody well go on strike if Grandma's next!"


Listen to the recording on youtube it's a nice simple tune
and fun to play for friends. This is my first attempt so any