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"There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought
Of It Yet" by Panic! At The Disco
Tabbed by: Paisley
Em
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
C
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
B7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
D
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
C
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
B7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
Em
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white
xx5557 xx5555 xx5557 xx5555
pinstripes whoa-oh
Em
Everything goes according to plan
B7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
D
And you can't stand it
G
I know because you say so under your breath
B7
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
D
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G
Never looked better
B7
And you can't stand it
G
Em
Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
C
I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
Am
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
B7
To them, your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shhh
D
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears
Am
And keep telling yourself that, "I'm a diva."
C
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
B
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin
B7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
D
And you can't stand it
G
I know because you say so under your breath
B7
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
D
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G
Never looked better
B7
And you can't stand it B B
Em x2
C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Em
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Em
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Em
And I know, and I know
C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
Em
And I know, and I know
C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
Em
And I know, and I know
C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
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Last Updated: February 10, 2026