Xmas Has Been Xed chords by NOFX

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Intro

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E/------------------------------------------------------------|
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A/3333-5555-8-8-7-7---3333-3333-5555-8-8-7-7------------------|
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Verse
C                                 Dm
It's funny how some fables became historic
G                                         Am
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
F                                        C
But people will believe anything if it's written
Dm                               G
Especially in stone or ancient scroll
C                      Dm
December 25th has been blacklisted
G                                         Am
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
C                                 F
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
G
Xmas has been X'd

Chorus
           C                    F
No colored lights, no shopping sprees
        G                   C
No more presents under dead trees
            Am                F
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve
       G                        C
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve

Verse
C                          Dm
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
G                               Am
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
F                                C
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Dm                                   G
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other
C                                    Dm
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
G                             Am
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist
C                                  F
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
    G
Cuz Easter's canceled too

Chorus
            C                F
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
            G                      C
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash
              Am                   F
They canceled lent and slowed down fast
      G                       C
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last
            F
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
        G                                          C
No more presents (we don't need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights)
            Am                                 F
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
       G                                      C
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve