The Mystic Crystal chords by Ninja Sex Party

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Ninja Sex Party: The Mystic Crystal Chords


Intro:
Em   D/F#   G    E/G#
Am   Am/G   D/F#

B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
Oh yeah!
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E

Verse 1:
B     B4     G   A E
Long ago and far away
B    B4          G A   E
In labyrinths of coral caves
  B      B4          G  A   E
A mystic crystal was forged in glass
     B     B4     G   A      E
From magic or some shit like that
    G               A        E
Its powers had been used for good
    G                A      E
And all men lived in brotherhood
  G            A      E/G#
Until The Necromancer came
  B
Upon his steed of bones and flame
    C     G         D
His prism eyes with evil gleamed
   C         G        D
He stole the crystal, then he screamed
     C        G       D
"Now gods and men and all between
      F            C
Shall blow my necromancing shween!"
    C           G      D
The knights and nobles of the land
    C        G        D
Did all they could to stay his hand
    C     G      D
Yet not a single blow was struck
 F               C         E7  F#7
Alas! For he was strong as fuck

Interlude:
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
B   B4   G   A   E
Oh yeah!
B   B4   G   A   E

Part 2:
B          B4           G    A   E
He grabbed The Princess from her throne
B           B4         G    A  E
And trapped her in the crystal stone
    B           B4     G   A   E
The King called in his wizards three
    B      B4          G  A  E
And begged them brokenheartedly
 G                   A          E
"Search the forests, search the seas
       G            A    E
Search time and all realities
    G             A      E
Two champions are what I need
   B
To bring my daughter back to me!"
 C       G        D
"Yes, my king, it shall be done"
    C       G         D
The wizards said, and so begun
  C        G          D
A wondrous spell that soon would find
F                   C
The greatest men in space and time
    C            G      D
And that's where our story begins
    C     G      D
And Danny and Brian come in
      C     G          D
There is no quest from which they'd flee
    F                    C      E7   D
But right now they're in New Jersey

Spoken:
N.C.
Hey, Ninja Brian, is that a mystic space portal behind you?
N.C.
Oh shit!

Interlude:
Em   D/F#   G   C
Am   Am/G   D/F#

Verse 3:
   Em      D/F# G       C
We woke up in a foreign land
  Am     Am/G    D/F#
Inside a castle, oh so grand
    Em    D/F#   G         E/G#
And there atop a throne of gold
  Am      Am/G     D/F#
Arose The King, so gross and old
      Bm                  C
"I've called you from the great beyond
   Bm                C       D
To save my daughter, hot and blonde
       Em      D/F#      G       E/G#
You've sailed across the sky and stars
    Am        Am/G        F#7        B
The gods have brought you here unharmed"

Verse 4:
 B   B4
    "Actually your majesty
                           G/B
You just sucked us through 26 dimensions of space and time
         A/B
And I've gotta be completely honest with you
B
My arms are broken
      B4
And I don't know why my chest is smoking"
 G/B
"I will heal you with my staff
    A/B
I'm sure we'll look back on this and laugh
    B                        B4
Now go! Ride toward the sun atop these noble steeds
G/B
You're our spandex heroes now
   A/B
Fulfill your destinies"
    B                         B4
And so! We turned and rode beyond the castle walls
     G/B                              A/B                    B    B4   G/B   A/B
With shining codpiece armor that doth cradled our chivalrous balls
B    B4   G/B   A/B

Verse 5:
G  D  A
      The sky grew dark and the road was narrow
C  G  D
      But I knew we'd never be led astray
G  D  A
      For Brian brought his magic arrows
C  G  D
      They were blessed to light our righteous way
D  D4  C4  C    D  D4  C4  C
Ah! Brian, do you think you could warn me before you're about to light our righteous way?
D  D4  C4  C    D  D4  C4  C
Oh, god! Alright, fine, whatever, man Let's ride!
Em   D   Em   D
Em   D   C  G  A7  B7

Verse 6:
    E                  D
The trees were twisted the air was thick
      A                       C       D
T'was clear his domain was as evil as dick
   E                               D
We passed through the gloom of the Forest of Fear
         A                        C             D  E
Then the Pits of Disgust, and the Dark Swamp of Tears
E               D
Then off in the distance so clear
    A                       C        D
The cold gray peak of Mount Nasty appeared
         E                        D
Past the Fields of Annoyance, and Dragon Barf Junction
        A                      C          D   E     D    A
And the treacherous Cliffs of Erectile Dysfunction
    C           D          E      D
Now Brian has erectile dysfunction
     D
Only Brian, though I know, it's weird

Verse 7:
E                 D
We arrived at the evil one's hall
        A                 C             D
And dismounted our trusty steeds with resolve
   E                                D
We hugged them goodbye and promised we'd never quit
          A                           C          D  E
Then they ran straight away, for they gave not a shit
E              D
Moonlight rose over the door
    A                      C             D
Lit all the jewels and the skulls on the floor
E                       D
We felt no terror as we entered the cave
           A7                      C              A7
Unless the bells of doom tolled we knew we'd be safe
   C            D A7
We knew we'd be safe!
   C            D
We knew we'd be sa- Oh fuck...

Verse 8:
Ebm               C#/E#      F#
Colored gemstones lit up the wall
              C#
They formed a rainbow trail
              Ebm
Up to a giant waterfall
Ebm                       F#
And there the Necromancer grinned
                     C#
The Princess stood frozen
                    G#m
Yet still so hot beside him (Damn!)
       Ebm                 F#
Then I heard a voice in my mind
F#/A#     C#
T'was The Princess!
C#                             Ebm
She said "Danny, your heart is kind
     Ebm
Only light can stop dark!"
       F#
I knew what she spoke of…
              C#
To defeat The Necromancer
C#           B      Ebm   F#  C#
I had to use love!
 G#m
"Stand back, Brian, I'm going to hug him!"

Verse 9:
Ebm
He immediately shattered both my legs
    Ebm
And threw me across the room
   F#
"I probably should have brought some weapons"
F#
I thought as I flew
     C#
Then Ninja Brian picked me up
  C#
Because he's a good friend
        B
Then he used my body like a club
            B
To beat our enemy to death
  Em
I should have been in more pain
           Em
Than could ever be spoken
     G
Luckily, I felt nothing
           G
Because my back was totes broken
        D
Oh, the Necromancer was dead
        D
And the crystal broke in three
         C
I looked up into the light and saw
    C                B7
The Princess was now free
 B7                         Bm              B
"Brian, she's so beautiful! Roll me to her!"

Verse 10:
   C         G        D
We journeyed gladly toward The King
    C         G              D
His lands now green with the life of spring
   C        G        D
He leapt up and wept at the sight
       F                      C
Of his girl as she carried me through the night
 C              G             D
"Heal this man, wizards!", he cried with delight
           C       G                     D
Which they did, goddamn, they keep their magic game tight
    C     G      D
But sadly it was time to leave
       C          G       D
So the king said "Fix Brian's E.D
       F             C      E7    A
And hooray for Ninja Sex Party!"
N.C.
"Look, Ninja Brian, the Portal back home is opening!"

Interlude:
C#   Ebm   F#
C#   Ebm   F#

Verse 11:
C#            Fm                  Bbm               B  Bbm
Now fare thee well, it seems that our journey is at an end
C#         Fm                  Bbm                 B   G#7
We will be here, if you should ever need our help again
C#         Fm                  Bbm                       B    F#
We walked away but stopped and turned before we took our last step
C#             Fm                Bbm                         B Bbm
Brian killed a guy real quick to make sure he maintained his rep
C#                 Fm
We all have our battles to fight
      Bbm                                  B  G#
And a crystal cage to break through in our lives
C#               Fm
But when hope is gone
           Bbm                        B    F#   C#
We will be there to help you rock the fuck on

Outro:
B    F#   C#