Russian Chastushki chords by Traditional

Tuning: Standard (e B G D A E)


Dm              Am
Down the river drifts an axe
E                Am
From the town of Byron
Dm              Am
Let it float by itself-
E                Am
Fucking piece of iron!!!


Dm              Am
I was sleeping with my honey
E          Am
Abs?lutely naked,
Dm           Am
I have taken my panties off
E              Am
Just to make a statement.

Dm             Am
Fish in thick tomato sauce
E              Am
Swims in happy comatose
Dm       Am
Only me, pathetic wimp
E               Am
Have no fucking place to swim.


Dm               Am
Starlet?s fallen from the heavens
E             Am
Right into my boyfriend's briefs,
Dm               Am
I don't mind his roasted penis
E              Am
If it helps us live in peace.


Dm                   Am
Girls have called me to the party
E         Am
I decided not to come,
Dm               Am
It's because my clothes are ugly
E           Am
And my dick is a tiny one.


Dm               Am
Time has shifted for an hour ?
E           Am
What a mess on globe
Dm            Am
Dick was hard before wakeup,
E           Am
Now it's up at work.


Dm         Am
In a tree a duck got stuck
E           Am
Noble eagle fucked that duck
Dm            Am
You can hear branches crack
E           Am
Sqeaky-dick and fucky-quack!


Dm         Am
Guy Miron shows such a trick:
E               Am
Crow is sitting on his dick
Dm            Am
And as soon as starts to croak -
E            Am
Has he boner on his cock


Dm        Am
Old Ivan Ilyich and I
E            Am
Used to work at a CI
Dm               Am
He's a fuckhead, so am I
E                 Am
Someone?s filched our CI.


Dm           Am
You are fine if you are steadfast
E            Am
In relations with milkmaid.
Dm                Am
You get wholesome milky breakfast
E            Am
And occasionally laid.


Dm               Am
Nick is crossing village slowly ?
E         Am
Outside it is cold and snowy.
Dm              Am
But his dick is up and running
E             Am
Just in case if something?s coming.


Dm               Am
Girls had a fight at country hut
E         Am
Over who got hairiest cunt.
Dm              Am
Well, more hair of the most
E               Am
Had the beaver of the host.


Dm            Am
You were mine the other day,
E                Am
Mike is screwing you today.
Dm            Am
He's got cock as thick as trees
E                 Am
On the Shishkin?s masterpiece.


Dm            Am
Have you seen four dicks together
E            Am
Dancing on a mountain peak?
Dm           Am
And one dick had fucked another
E            Am
But with yet another dick.


Dm           Am
My advice to future bride:
E                 Am
Don't get married, silly!
Dm              Am
Morning comes ? your boobs aside,
E                 Am
Snatch is rumpled illy.


Dm              Am
Nick is sitting at the door,
E                 Am
Neither dancing, singing nor,
Dm              Am
He is sitting, deaf and dumb,
E              Am
Thinking only "Whom to hump?"


Dm             Am
Coffee pot?s a bit unstable
E            Am
Dishes fall around
Dm           Am
Fucking on a little table
E           Am
Makes a lot of sound


Dm          Am
Two of us ? me and my buddy
E            Am
Giving gifts to everybody
Dm                Am
You get daughter, you get son
E          Am
Patriotic duty?s done


Dm              Am
Wife is telling her old man:
E             Am
"Book me U.S. fare!"
Dm            Am
"Stupid cunt! Don't think you can ?
E                   Am
Trains aren?t going there!"


Dm         Am
I was in a horny mood
E          Am
And I blew Stepan
Dm          Am
He is smart and looking good,
E            Am
Salty on the tongue


Dm              Am
Kids are asking uncle Peck:
E                Am
Why's there wire on your neck?
Dm            Am
Uncle has no words to spare
E               Am