Spitting Image - Ive Never Met A Nice South African chords by Television Music

Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)

Key: G

Difficulty: Novice

Intro:
Em Bm Am Bm Em


Verse 1:
     Em                                    Bm
I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,
         Em                           Bm
I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,
          Em                      Bm
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal,
         Em                                Bm
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,
     Am              Bm          C                 D
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner -
Em                              Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!

Chorus 1:
        C           D          G
No he's never met a nice South African,
    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising man!
               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
               D   G
Who hate black people!


Verse 2:
  Em                               Bm
I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait,
      Em                                Bm
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,
  Em                                     Bm
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,
  Em                                Bm
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,
     Am           Bm            C             D
I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German -
         Em                     Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!

Chorus 2:
        C           D          G
No he's never met a nice South African,
    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising man!
               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers,
               D G
Who smell like baboons.

Verse 3:
     Em                           Bm
I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,
       Em                           Bm
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,
      Em                        Bm
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings,
     Em                          Bm
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,
     Am            Bm        C                D
I've seen a flying pig, in a quite convincing wig,
         Em                     Bm
But I've never met a nice South African!

Chorus 3:
        C           D          G
No he's never met a nice South African,
    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising man!
               C        D          G
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
                 D G
With no sense of humour.

Verse 4:
     Em                               Bm
I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,
       Em                     Bm
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,
  Em                               Bm
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies,
  Em                        Bm
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,
     Am             Bm               C           D
I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle -
         Em                     Bm
And I've never met a nice South African.

Chorus 4:
        C           D          G
No he's never met a nice South African,
    C          D           G
And that's not bloody surprising man!
        C           D       G
Because we've never met one either!
  C        D       G                D                 G
Except for Breyten Breytenbach, and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)

Coda:
    C            D          G
Yes he's quite a nice South African,
    C           D           G
And he's hardly ever killed anyone,
    C        D         G
And he's not smelly at all.
                         D  G
That's why we put him in prison!