Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E) 🎸 Verse: B E N.C. Oh God, I hate Shakespeare! *gasp* That’s right, I said it! B N.C. No! I do! I hate Shakespeare! Why? I just don’t get it E B E Am How a mediocre actor from a measly little town B Is suddenly the brightest jewel in England’s royal crown 🎸 Verse 2: E Oh God I hate Shakespeare his plays are wordy but B Oh no! The “great” Shakespeare! That little turd E B E Am He has no sense about the audience he makes them feel so dumb B The bastard doesn’t care that my poor ass is getting numb
🎸 Chorus: G D E D# How can you say that? How can you say that? C G A D It’s easy, I can say it cause it’s absolutely true! G D E D# Don’t be a penis, the man is a genius! C B E His genius is he’s fooling all of you! 🎸 Interlude: E A F# B But he’s brilliant what majesty flows from his pen B7 C#m A B His poetry soars like a sweet violin E A B C#m God’s own inspiration like lightning doth strike him A And he captures my soul! Ah! Jeez, you sound just like him! Really? Thaaanks… 🎸 Verse 3: N.C. E N.C. B You should hate Shakespeare! *gasp* Well no I don’t, I try to emulate Shakespeare! N.C. E B E Am Well there’s your problem! You’re so blinded by the bard who’s such a pompous little man B Why is it a problem to admit that I’m a fan? B Cause he’s a hack with a knack for stealing anything he can! 🎸 Chorus: G D E D# How can you say that? How can you say that? C G A D The man really knows how to write a bitchin’ play! G D E D# You wish you could pen one, we wish we were in one C B I just wish that he would go away! B Well that’s not gonna happen, because everyone I know says B That he is the greatest writer that England has ever known! 🎸 Verse 4: N.C. E And that’s ANOTHER thing I hate about Shakespeare! B Is all the twits who bloviate about Shakespeare! N.C. E B E Am And how they prattle on about his great accomplishments, well la-de-da-de-dah! B And once they start their gushing there’s no stopping them 🎸 Verse 5: E And then it’s “blah blah blah blah blah Shakespeare!” B And he walks in, it’s “dum da dum ta da Shakespeare!” E He’s holding court and they say “Will you’re such a genius and your writing is divine, B Em E A rose by any other name is such a clever line!” E B E B And they’re all “Ooh!” and he’s all “Stop” and they’re all “Yay” and I’m all “Ugh” B And I’m REALLY getting sick of it! 🎸 Verse 6: E And oh, oh, oh, OH, I HATE SHAKESPEARE! N.C. B N.C. I think by now we sort of know you hate Shakespeare! Shmakespeare! E B E B The way he feigns humility when all he does is gloat F C F C The way he wears that silly frilly collar ‘round his throat G D G D The poster child for why no one should ever procreate G D G D Let me make a shorter list and I will give it to you straight: D G Every little thing about Shakespeare is what I hate! G (He hates! He hates! He clearly surely really truly hates Shakespeare!) G Don’t hate!
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