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Tuning: G C E A (G C E A) Eb Db Ab Bb ADAM: Eb Look at this crib Bbm In all of its glorious antiquary Ab Every curve and surface speaks to me Db Saying pamper and spoil me C Bb Sand me and oil me Eb Come on Cm I know to the untrained eye it's boring Ab But nothing's a chore when you're restoring Db Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain Cm It's fun!
Folks say Adam
Gm
Why do you polish your crib when you don't have a kid?
And even if you did have a kid,
Fm
This crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it
So it simply exists to remind you
Ab
Your sense of perfection is just a reflection that
Bb Cm
you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid
Eb
Adam, why don't you live?
F
Adam, just make a start
Fm
Are you willing to take the next step?
Ready, set...
A7
Ready, set...
BARBARA:
D
Look at these jugs!
A7
Amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery
G
I took some clay and made you pottery
C
The world will never wreck you
Bm
I'll protect you in a mother's embrace
Folks say, Barbara
F#m
Why can't you see that ceramics is
simply a manifestation of motherly panic
Em
By making a baby that's breakable
Aren't you creating a way of translating the
G
terror of making maternal mistakes into clay
A Bm
Hiding away so you don't have to face being a bad mom
Barbara
D
That's what you've done, Barbara
E
Just make a start
Are you willing to take the next step?
Ready, set...
BOTH:
A
Here we stand
F#m
At the end of a 10-year plan
D
A house, a yard, a minivan
A
A baby should be next
Together let's leap off the cliff
B
Fall forever, then smash to bits
D
Trapped in a terrifying viper pit
Of diapers and regret
Bm E
Are we willing to take the next step?
Ready, set...
Ready, set...
ADAM:
F#
Not yet
BARBARA:
Not yet
ADAM:
D#m
Why rush?
BARBARA:
Why rush?
BOTH:
B
Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushed
BARBARA:
G
But not yet!
ADAM:
But not yet!
BARBARA:
Em
Not now
ADAM,spoken:
Not now
Ooohh?
No!
See?
We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards
BARBARA:
You are absolutely right
D
Let's add it to the list
Am7
With the cracks in the plaster
ADAM:
Em G
The wi-fi should be faster
BARBARA:
Em
This sofa needs a castor
ADAM:
D
The bathroom's a disaster!
BARBARA:
C
What about global poverty?
ADAM:
What about world peace?
BARBARA:
G
Then there's the whole darn economy
ADAM:
The whole Middle East
BARBARA:
Bb
We should learn Mandarin
ADAM:
Yeah!
Or Spanish at least.
BOTH:
Ab
No habla español
G Em
Dos cervezas por favor
F
And that's all we got
And that's not a lot
Eb Bb
Do we want a bilingual household or not?
Cm
So let's go slow
F
No breaking a sweat
Cm
What's the point of having children
F
If we're covered in debt?
BARBARA:
Cm
Now we're totally
ADAM:
Eb
Completely
BARBARA:
Gb
Maybe eighty percent
ADAM:
Ab
I'd say seventy-eight
BOTH:
Ready to take
Bb G
The next step (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah Yeah!)
Bb G
The next step (Zooby dooby dooby, dooby dop and bow!)
Bb G
The next step (Zweeby, beeby, boo-bah-bah-dee!)
Db
The next step
Ab
Ready, set let's...
Gb
See I wasn't kidding
F Bb
It's a show about death!
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