Chords with lyrics
Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)
Difficulty: Novice
Intro:
G minorGm
Hey Ladies, Sit down, relax
C minorCm Bb majorBb
I got a story to tell...
Verse 1:
C minorCm
Every night I lie awake
Bb majorBb
With sorrow in my chest
C minorCm
I think of NPH and wonder
Bb majorBb
Is he getting rest?
G minorGm
Does he know each second
C minorCm
He’s only second best?
Eb MajorEb
Tossing in his bed
FF
What’s he wearing? Dread?
Chorus:
Bb majorBb
I’m better
G minorGm
Better than Neil
FF
In so many ways
Eb MajorEb
It’s almost unreal
Bb majorBb
Oh sure he can sing
G minorGm
And piggies can squeal
FF
It’s not a big deal
Eb MajorEb
I’m better
Verse 2:
C minorCm
So he was on Broadway
Bb majorBb
While I was on the soaps
C minorCm
Who’s got the high score
Bb majorBb
on "Ninja Ropes"
G minorGm
Who’s got a bullet-proof
C minorCm
Car like the Pope’s?
Eb MajorEb
Look at Neil mackin’
FF
So sad he’s so lackin’
Verse 3:
C minorCm
He makes seven figures
Bb majorBb
And get Emmy nods
C minorCm
I make seven layer
Bb majorBb
Bean dip of the gods
G minorGm
I’m also in Halo 3
C minorCm
What are the odds?
Eb MajorEb
Now my ears are ringin’
FF
‘Cause all the girls are singin’
Chorus:
Bb majorBb
I’m better
G minorGm
Better than Neil
FF
At so many things
Eb MajorEb
It’s hard to conceal
Bb majorBb
Oh sure he does magic
G minorGm
Magic’s not real
FF
How dumb do you feel?
Eb MajorEb
I’m better
Verse 4:
C minorCm
Neil played a kid doctor
Bb majorBb
Well, so did I, dude
C minorCm
But I was much younger
Bb majorBb
And totally nude
G minorGm
Neil kept that white coat on
C minorCm
Great Doctor Prude
Eb MajorEb
Look there Felicia goes
FF
Another deal you couldn’t close, yeah
Verse 5:
C minorCm
I wink at a woman
Bb majorBb
She needs a drink - Stat!
C minorCm
She knows I get everything
Bb majorBb
I’m aiming at
G minorGm
Except for the Pope car
C minorCm
I lied about that
Eb MajorEb
At least I’m not prone
FF
To singing alone
Bridge:
Bb majorBb
Look at his smallness
G minorGm
Compared to my tallness
C minorCm
My porcelain doll-ness
FF
My port-in-a-squallness
Bb majorBb
My kids-in-the-Hallness
G minorGm
My Pink-Floyd’s "The Wall"-ness
C minorCm
My three parts of gaulness
FF
My just all-in-allness
Bb majorBb
My wonderful me-ness
FF DmDm
My hammer - the people can tell
Eb MajorEb DmDm
That I’m awfully swell
Eb MajorEb DmDm
While Neil has a weird smell
Eb MajorEb FF
I’m just saying: Purell
Chorus:
Bb majorBb
I’m better
G minorGm
Better than Neil
FF
At - where do I start?
Eb MajorEb
Romantic appeal
Bb majorBb
We both went for Penny
G minorGm
And who copped a feel?
FF
The true man of steel
Eb MajorEb
I’m better than Neil
Chorus:
Bb majorBb
Yeah yeah yeah
G minorGm
I’m better than Neil
FF
Just jumped off a moving
Eb MajorEb
Automobile
Bb majorBb
He plays with his phone
G minorGm
While tires they squeal
FF
It’s my scene to steal
Eb MajorEb
I' m better than Neil
Outtro:
Bb majorBb G minorGm FF Eb MajorEb
Oo oo oo oo... improv, repeat until tired