Tuning: G C E A (G C E A) Eb Db Ab Bb ADAM: Eb Look at this crib Bbm In all of its glorious antiquary Ab Every curve and surface speaks to me Db Saying pamper and spoil me C Bb Sand me and oil me Eb Come on Cm I know to the untrained eye it's boring Ab But nothing's a chore when you're restoring Db Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain Cm It's fun!
Folks say Adam Gm Why do you polish your crib when you don't have a kid? And even if you did have a kid, Fm This crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it So it simply exists to remind you Ab Your sense of perfection is just a reflection that Bb Cm you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid Eb Adam, why don't you live? F Adam, just make a start Fm Are you willing to take the next step? Ready, set... A7 Ready, set... BARBARA: D Look at these jugs! A7 Amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery G I took some clay and made you pottery C The world will never wreck you Bm I'll protect you in a mother's embrace Folks say, Barbara F#m Why can't you see that ceramics is simply a manifestation of motherly panic Em By making a baby that's breakable Aren't you creating a way of translating the G terror of making maternal mistakes into clay A Bm Hiding away so you don't have to face being a bad mom Barbara D That's what you've done, Barbara E Just make a start Are you willing to take the next step? Ready, set... BOTH: A Here we stand F#m At the end of a 10-year plan D A house, a yard, a minivan A A baby should be next Together let's leap off the cliff B Fall forever, then smash to bits D Trapped in a terrifying viper pit Of diapers and regret Bm E Are we willing to take the next step? Ready, set... Ready, set... ADAM: F# Not yet BARBARA: Not yet ADAM: D#m Why rush? BARBARA: Why rush? BOTH: B Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushed BARBARA: G But not yet! ADAM: But not yet! BARBARA: Em Not now ADAM,spoken: Not now Ooohh? No! See? We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards BARBARA: You are absolutely right D Let's add it to the list Am7 With the cracks in the plaster ADAM: Em G The wi-fi should be faster BARBARA: Em This sofa needs a castor ADAM: D The bathroom's a disaster! BARBARA: C What about global poverty? ADAM: What about world peace? BARBARA: G Then there's the whole darn economy ADAM: The whole Middle East BARBARA: Bb We should learn Mandarin ADAM: Yeah! Or Spanish at least. BOTH: Ab No habla español G Em Dos cervezas por favor F And that's all we got And that's not a lot Eb Bb Do we want a bilingual household or not? Cm So let's go slow F No breaking a sweat Cm What's the point of having children F If we're covered in debt? BARBARA: Cm Now we're totally ADAM: Eb Completely BARBARA: Gb Maybe eighty percent ADAM: Ab I'd say seventy-eight BOTH: Ready to take Bb G The next step (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah Yeah!) Bb G The next step (Zooby dooby dooby, dooby dop and bow!) Bb G The next step (Zweeby, beeby, boo-bah-bah-dee!) Db The next step Ab Ready, set let's... Gb See I wasn't kidding F Bb It's a show about death!
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