Tuning: G C E A (G C E A) Srumming Pattern is DUDUDU (Spoken) Vanessa: Dad? (Spoken) Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Vanessa! (Spoken) Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing? B A Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest I don't really understand D A But I fell down this hill and I got glue on my hands D Now I got records on my fingers C Kids: Whaaaat? D Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers E I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop C Kids: Don't stop F Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop I got a platypus controlling me C Kids: WHAAAAT? F# Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me C Now let me sum it up G
It was a strange set of circumstances C Kids: Strange set of circumstances? E Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands now I got records on my fingers A And I just can't stop C Kids: DON'T STOP DON'T STOP C Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able G A There's a platypus controlling me he's underneath the table Kids: There's a platypus controlling him—WHAAAT? Kid: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down. Like, corporations are a platypus C Kids: The government's a platypus Your teacher is a platypus Kids: Society's a platypus My parents are a platypus The media's a platypus It's all just propaganda Yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us D Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No just me C Kids: We all got a platypus controlling us A Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able C Kids: We all got a platypus controlling us C Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically D A The platypus controlling me is underneath the table C A Oh wait, no, he's gone! B A Heyyy! There's no platypus controlling me... A B There's no platypus controlling me!