Chords with lyrics
ARCHIBALD (Spoken)
N.C.
And now it's time for silly songs with Larry
The part of the show
Where Larry comes out and sings a silly son.
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt
Who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags:
'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything'.
PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY
C majorC 
FF
We are the pirates who don't do anything
C majorC 
G+G
We just stay at home and lay around
C majorC FF
And if you ask us to do anything
C majorC G+G
We'll just tell you...
LARRY
C majorC
We don't do anything
PA GRAPE
C majorC
Well, I've never been to Greenland
FF
And I've never been to Denver
C majorC G+G
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
C majorC
And I've never been to Moscow
FF
And I've never been to Tampa
G+G G+G C majorC
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY
C majorC FF
We're the pirates who don't do anything
C majorC G+G
We just stay at home and lay around
C majorC FF
And if you ask us to do anything
C majorC G+G
We'll just tell you...
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
C majorC
We don't do anything!
MISTER LUNT
C majorC
And I've never hoist the mainstay
FF
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
C majorC
And I've never veer to starboard
G+G
'Cause I never sail at all
C majorC
And I've never walked the gangplank
FF
And I've never owned a parrot
C majorC G+G C majorC
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY
C majorC FF
'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
C majorC G+G
We just stay at home and lay around
C majorC FF
And if you ask us to do anything
C majorC G+G C majorC
We'll just tell you we don't do anything
LARRY
C majorC
Well, I've never plucked a rooster
FF
And I'm not too good at ping pong
C majorC
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
G+G
Up against the wall
C majorC
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
FF
And I've never gotten head lice
C majorC G+G C majorC
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? What are you talking about?
What does a rooster or mashed potatoes
Have to do with being a pirate?
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
N.C.
Hey, that's right
We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk?
That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up?
A minorAm I right? What do you think?
MISTER LUNT (Spoken):
N.C.
I think you look like Cap'n Crunch.
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? No I don't!
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
N.C.
Do too!
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
Do not!
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
N.C.
You're making me hungry.
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
That's it, you're walking the plank!
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
N.C.
Says who?
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
Says the Cap'n, that's who!
MISTER LUNT (Spoken)
N.C.
Oh yeah?
Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch!
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
Arrrgh!
MISTER LUN (Spoken)
N.C.
Yikes!
LARRY
C majorC
And I've never licked a spark plug
FF
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
C majorC
And I've never painted daises
G+G
On a big red rubber ball
C majorC
And I've never bathed in yogurt
FF
And I don't look good in leggings
PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
You just don't get it.
PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY
C majorC G+G C majorC
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!
