Thems The Vagaries chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

You may have to rescue me from limestone quarries frequently
      D                                         A               E
Those corporate stunt shows you attend - you'll never get asked back again.
     A                      E
Say, hello spinal curvature get used to the mirthless furniture
D                                         A                    E
Now we've kissed I've written this list I thought you ought to know.
A                                         E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
                     D                                   A   E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
          A
Well I'll not sit backwards on the train
        E
I can't say I'll always flush the chain
         D                                  A                     E
And what I call pleasure you may call pain - I'm talking five day tests.
A                            E
Prepare to lose your dignity as I ride to victory
D                                A               E
Down the aisles at Tesco wearing nothing much at all.
Bb                 Gm             C   D
Ancient pack horse bridges we'll avoid
Eb        Cm                  D
Marajuana bores must be destroyed.
A                                  E
Bin men, thin men, lexicographers, squid yes not so octopus
D                                       A                 E
Egg sandwiches on coach trips in June - I simply won't be there.
A                           E
No way joke shop excrement, don't say the lightshow's excellent
D                                                A           E
It makes you smell of the laboratory instead of a fan of the band.
A                                         E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
                     D                                   A    E
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
   A
Oh Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot
E

Sheepskin noseband, kids in Aldershot
D                                           A                   E
You point to finches in my yard and you ask "what's them things there?"
A                                         E
Them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries
                    D                                          A  E
Them's the aviaries and I've been saving these things just for you
    A    E     A   E      A   E  A