The Referees Alphabet chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

occasionaly slide up from a D flat chord(it just an extra detail that I haven transcribed,
I'm just saying incase your wondering, it doesn't make the utmost of differances)
Great and very (almost too) underratted band and one of their greatest songs

(note: the chord placings are approximate so are probably in the wrong place, but it's
easy enough to guess them as long as you know the chords)

(intros just the same chords for the verses: D, G, A)

D
The A is for my authority
G
Which many players seem to question,
A
Thinking they're somehow going to make me change my mind
D

B is for babies
G
Which a lot of managers cry like
A
After a decision has not gone their way
D                                G
C is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline
A
Get back in your technical area!
D
D is for the dunderheads
G
Who seem to think we have a conspiracy
A
Against their particular team
D
E is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground
G
After I've booked the home teams player
A
And it's obvious to everyone that he deserved it
D
F is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there
G
The G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on 90,000 a week
A
And reckoned he should have had a throw in
D
H is for handball
G
Which has to be intentional and very rarely is
A
If only people would study the rules more
D
I is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender
G
After they've just scythed down that tricky winger
A
J is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley
D
And some of the narky blerts ive encountered
G
K is for the kissing of the badge
A
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club
D                     G
L is for lip reading, at which you don't need to be an expert
A
To see how odious some people are
D
M is for the mistakes we sometimes make
G                           A
Surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal
D                                    G
The N, the N is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game
                  A
Asks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle
D
An afternoon with your wife mate
D
The O is for offside
G                              A
Which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been
D
The P is for the penalty shootout
G              A
Great drama and no pressure on me
D
Q is the quiet word i sometimes need to have
G
With some of the more fiery participants
A
I usually choose the word 'pleat'
D
R is for running backwards
G                             A
A difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate
D                             G
S is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort
A
To a player whos just been awarded a free kick
(mute the strings and strum)
Sorry i got all that wrong the S again
D
Okay the S, the S is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent
G
By a player whos been awarded a free kick
A
He himself is more in danger of getting one for that
D
T is for the 21 man brawl
G                                   A
Whiuch is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving
D
U is for the umpire which i sometimes wish I'd been instead
G                          A
You never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat
D                                       G
The V is for vitriol vilification vendetta and volley of verbal abuse
A
Some good bird noises there by the way
D
W is for walter pidgeon
G
Whos mr Griffiths in 'how green was my valley'
A
I may have started to sound like during this song
D
'where was the light i thought to see in your eye'
G                          A
He says that to a young huw played by roddy McDowall
D
The X
G
The X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy
A
potugese center half

Whom i just dismissed
D
The Y is for Yate
G                   A
The kind of town referees come from
D
And the Z
G                              A
Well the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff

Even Zondervan
D
But is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work
G
Without this zest for the game we wouldn't become refs
A
And without refs, well zero
D
See also Zatopek, Zeus
G
And Zeal Monachorum
D
I have a caravan there
G
Static naturally
A          D etc...
(Wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun)

contiune the "D G A" until the end (although, if your like me when it comes to the end