Carry On Cremating chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

E                       A
We?re hardly the fruit from a well-tended banana tree
      E                    A
We?re hardly the Bayeux in rock?s rich tapestry
E                                  A
We were like two rubber ducks that passed each other in the bath
E                             A
I can sound like Wally out of Crossroads, Kath.

D                        A
She threw an apple in my eye, cor blimey
D                        A
Alex Haley was adopted ? that?s what?s called a disappointment.

E                              A
When England won the World Cup back in 1966
E                               A
Wembley must have been a sea of smiles
     E                                   A
Well I think Kenneth Wolstenholme summed up the moment really well
E                                A
When he said ?Just look at Nobby Stiles? yeah.

D                        A
She threw an apple in my eye, cor blimey
D                        A
Alex Haley was adopted ? that?s what?s called a disappointment.

   E                              A
Oh they?re still cremating Hattie Jacques, I am not surprised
E                                   A
Come on now, let?s face it, she was fat
   E                                A
It usually takes for ever trying to burn the grossly oversized
E                                A
Who would ever want to look like that?

D                         A
She had a face that could launch a thousand dredgers
D                           A
I could never get her on my portable TV.
D                        A
She threw an apple in my eye, cor blimey
D                        A
Alex Haley was adopted ? that?s what?s called a disappointment.