Asparagus Next Left chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

• Difficulty: Beginner 👶

[Main riff]
A   D   G        x4


Verse 1:
      A            D            G
We've just been performing a guerilla gig
       A           D                G
In the middle of another group's guerilla gig
      A                 D           G
Well, surely that's the ultimate guerilla gig
    A7         D7         G
But still they cried like girls


C                 C   B   A     G
Road signs on our country lanes may
G                D
Not be what they seem
C           C    B      A   G
  Asparagus next left - who says?
G             D
  I've been upstream

C                    C    B A G
Going down there for plum tomatoes
G                    D
  That's not a good idea
     C
For 'horse manure 200 yards' read
D
  'Bottomless perdition'


[Main riff]
A   D   G       x4


Verse 2:
         A           D          G
When the club versus country dispute arose
      A             D               G
Small children were trampled in the exodus
   A        D          G
We all knew someone at primary school
    A7         D7       G
Who had a very powerful magnet


C                C   B A G
  This-a-way for new potatoes
   G                    D
An arrow points innocently
C               C  B   A      G
Dirt track to a darker place, that's
G                 D
  What it says to me
C                 C  B    A  G
  Last chance for hanging baskets
G                         D
  They're even giving you clues
C
Fresh broad-beans and aubergines
D
Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms


[Guitar Solo]
G   C          x4


[Main riff]
A   D   G      x4


Verse 3:
A          D               G
  Whatever happened to the plumber's van
    A      D       G
The humble amateur transit van
A           D      G
Vans have become ridiculous with their
A7    D7         G
Strategies and logistics


C               C  B A   G
  Veer left for marmalade
G                  D
  I don't think so Joe
    C                C  B    A  G
And why are tractors turning
G                    D
  We really ought to know

C                      C B   A     G
  So stay alert on the minor roads
G                  D
  Remember Phyllis Triggs
C
"Ooh, rhubarb, let's go"
      D                             A
She's still not been accounted for