The Unfortunate Gwatkin chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

Chords with lyrics

(intro) G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD (x4)

G+G      E minorEm            C majorC       D MajorD
I wandered around to the back of the petrochemical plant where they?d found Mr
G+G         E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Gwatkin?s jacket in 1974.  Sleeves turned inside out
G+G             E minorEm      C majorC       D MajorD
With a tin of sweetcorn in each pocket. The rumours surrounding his disappearance
G+G          E minorEm        C majorC           D MajorD
Are many and varied. Though we should for the time being at least accept the version of
G+G             E minorEm         C majorC          D MajorD   G+G E minorEm
Events given to us by the lamentable chap himself on his eventual return.
       C majorC        D MajorD
In doing this however, we must also keep in our thoughts
  G+G         E minorEm      C majorC         D MajorD
The findings of better minds who conclude that Gwatkin as-is no longer
G+G     E minorEm       C majorC D MajorD  G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Represents Gwatkin as-was.

G+G           E minorEm       C majorC             D MajorD
Piecing together an occasional vague sentence and some garbled chanting heard during the
G+G      E minorEm          C majorC           D MajorD
Small hours, it appears that our victim was making his way home from the Pessimist
G+G      E minorEm           C majorC       D MajorD
Festival in Mollington when he was set upon by a gang of miscreants, the
G+G          E minorEm           C majorC         D MajorD
Chief malefactor of whom was a particularly vicious character going by the name of
G+G     E minorEm        C majorC         D MajorD
Bridgedale. So called on account of a thermal sock with which he
G+G          E minorEm            C majorC          D MajorD   G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Gloved his fist whenever he became tetchy and needed to punch somethink.


G+G      E minorEm          C majorC       D MajorD
Unable to comply with the rabble?s hot tempered demands for unreasonable
G+G       E minorEm         C majorC        D MajorD
Things such as cathedral juice and vicar shit, the heavily pummelled
G+G               E minorEm        C majorC      D MajorD
Innocent was dragged into the churchyard of St. Lawrence and there left to his own
 G+G         E minorEm       C majorC      D MajorD
Devices next to the grave of young Nelson Burt ? whose own tragic
G+G           E minorEm       C majorC         D MajorD G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Tale is of particular interest to the local historian.


G+G             E minorEm        C majorC      D MajorD
It is believed that within twenty minutes of this episode, a further attack was witnessed by
G+G    E minorEm         C majorC  D MajorD
One Slow Dempsey of Woodside Farm, who alleged that he saw the
 G+G          E minorEm         C majorC      D MajorD
Aforementioned Bridgedale scuttle a full four hundred feet along the Wervin Turnpike
G+G      E minorEm           C majorC     D MajorD G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
To deliver a perfect Haymaker onto a stray colt.      This afternoon I
G+G       E minorEm           C majorC              D MajorD
Visited Daniel Gwatkin in the confined place which he will probably never leave.
G+G       E minorEm        C majorC    D MajorD
I was offered redbush tea and a fig roll. The pleasantry gave
G+G          E minorEm          C majorC         D MajorD
Hope for lengthy discourse but cheer was swiftly dismissed as the pitiful subject
G+G             E minorEm        C majorC          D MajorD
Proceeded to gaze out of a large window for what seemed like an age, before
G+G         E minorEm           C majorC       D MajorD
Turning around to fix me with pitch black sockets which simply said
G+G     E minorEm C majorC D MajorD  G+G          E minorEm C majorC D MajorD  A minorAm E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
?Help me?.      Then came the song:

G+G   E minorEm C majorC     D MajorD      G+G     E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Cresta!   What the fuck were we drinking?
G+G   E minorEm C majorC     D MajorD      G+G     E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Cresta!   What the fuck were we drinking?

G+G     E minorEm   C majorC        D MajorD     G+G     E minorEm     C majorC       D MajorD
I write to people, they don?t get back to me. I write a second time, they don?t reply.
G+G      E minorEm    C majorC       D MajorD  G+G      E minorEm  C majorC     D MajorD
To ease the loneliness and pass the time I pace the room, inventing bands;
G+G   E minorEm     C majorC      D MajorD   G+G         E minorEm    C majorC        D MajorD
Experimental trio from Borehamwood ? ?Hall, Stairs and Landing?: they?re really good.
G+G    E minorEm  C majorC      D MajorD     G+G       E minorEm  C majorC      D MajorD
Scott Verplank did not get back to me. Newcombe and Roche, still no response.
G+G     E minorEm    C majorC     D MajorD   G+G       E minorEm    C majorC       D MajorD
Congolesi Unsworth, Glaswegian Runes, the singer?s granddad writes all the tunes.


G+G   E minorEm     C majorC      D MajorD  G+G   E minorEm     C majorC      D MajorD
Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd. Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.
G+G   E minorEm   C majorC      D MajorD    G+G E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Uh-oh Chongo! It?s Danger Island!


G+G    E minorEm C majorC     D MajorD      G+G
Cresta!   What the fuck were we drinking?
   E minorEm     C majorC      D MajorD
Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd, Jodie Mudd.
G+G    E minorEm C majorC     D MajorD      G+G     E minorEm C majorC D MajorD
Cresta!   What the fuck were we drinking?
G+G
Cresta!