You Won't Succeed On Broadway chords by Erlc Idle

D, D7
Well...let me put it like this.
   G            E7
In any great adventure,
     Am7       D7      G
that you don't want to lose,
        Em7              A7              D
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
    C              G/B      Am7     D7      G
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
   C                G/B
We won't succeed on Broadway,
       A7                   D
If you don't have any Jews.
        G
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
                           G#dim7            Am7      D7
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
       Am7               D7
You my dance and you may sing,
       Am7            D7
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
       Am7
You'll hear no cheers,
     D7
Just lots and lots of boos.
G

Boo.
                                G7
You mahve have butch men by the score
         C
Whom the audience adore,
C/Bb    A7                          D      C/E
You may even have some animals from zoos,
D7/F#         G                G7/B
Though you've Poles and krauts instead,
        C              Eb/Db
You may have unlevened bread,
      G/D  G#dim7       E
But I tell you, you are dead,
E7/G#  A7         D7  G
If you don't have any Jews.

G#dim7  D7/F#  G   D

     G
They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
                       G#dim7       Am7      D7
They'll simply say it's sh*tty and refuse.
Am7         D7
Nobody will go, sir,
Am7         D7     Am7            D7
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
      Am7           D7            G
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
                           D7/A
Put on shows that make men stare,
      G7/B    C
With lots of girls in underwear,
        A7                         D
You may even have the finest of reviews.
Em7 add4 D/F#
You're doing great!
    G                    G7/B
The audience won't care, sir,
   C                 Eb/Db
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
A7      D7            G
If you don't have any Jews.

G       C
You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
                       C#dim7             Dm7          G7#9
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
     Dm7                   G7
Your knights might be nice boys,
     Dm7             G7
But sadly we're all goys,
         Dm7                 G7               C
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
                        Dm7
So, despite your pretty lights,
    C7/E    F
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
        D              Em7(add4) D7/F# G7     F/A
and the most impressive scenery you use...
    Bdim7    C       C7/E
You may have dancing mana-mano,
        F           Ab/Gb
You may bring on a piano,
         C/G       G#dim7   A7
But they will not give a    damn-o
A7/C#  D7         G7  C
If you don't have any Jews!

Bridge
E7 A7 A7/C# D7 G7 C Fm Cm

G7      Cm
You may fill your play with gays,
     G
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
                                      Cm
You may even have some schizas making stews!
    Fm
You haven't got a clue,
   Cm
If you don't have a Jew,
       D7                                 G7
All of your investments you are going to lose!
          C
There's a very small percentile,
      Fm
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
     D7                             G
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
    C               C7/E
But never mind your swordplay,
         F                Ab/Gb
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
         C/G   G#dim7     A7
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
A7/C#  D7         G7  C
If you don't have any Jews!