If Stuart Could Talk chords by The Dickies

Chords with lyrics

Tuning: Standard (E MajorE A augmentedA D MajorD G+G BB E MajorE)

Intro:
A augmentedA D MajorD FF D MajorD
A augmentedA D MajorD FF D MajorD
A augmentedA D MajorD FF D MajorD
A augmentedA G+G FF

Verse 1:
 A augmentedA            EsusEsus      E MajorE
I got a little friend he's with me to the end
A augmentedA         EsusEsus E MajorE
What does he say?
A augmentedA             EsusEsus   E MajorE
I ask him for opinions and political decisions
A augmentedA          EsusEsus E MajorE
Each and every day

Prechorus:
 D MajorD           A augmentedA      BB    E MajorE
I know that it's a dream and obscene anyway

Chorus:
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
   A augmentedA       D MajorD   FF      D MajorD      A augmentedA G+G FF
Now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?

Verse 2:
A augmentedA           EsusEsus    E MajorE
Whenever i'm alone i'm really not alone
A augmentedA          EsusEsus E MajorE
He's always there
A augmentedA                 EsusEsus      E MajorE
When I am going to falter and I'm standing at the altar
A augmentedA            EsusEsus E MajorE
And there's not a prayer

Prechorus:
 D MajorD          A augmentedA       BB       E MajorE
I know it's up to him if have to sin there's a way

  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A augmentedA       D MajorD   FF      D MajorD      A augmentedA D MajorD FF
Well now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?
D MajorD    A augmentedA  G+G FF
Talk to me

Interlude:
BB
What would he say?
BB
What would he say?
BB
What would he say?
BB
What would he say?
BB             A augmentedA  F#F#   BB         A augmentedA  F#F#
(spoken) "Yes, my name is Stuart, and I assure you I can speak
BB            A augmentedA   F#F#
And lately I find myself astounded
BB        A augmentedA     F#F#
At the sort of company you keep
C#C#            BB   G#G#
Something further I must mention
C#C#          BB     G#G#
Of this fact I cannot understand
    C#C#     BB    G#G#
Is your insatiable attention
  C majorC           BB  G#G#
At annoying me with your hand.

    E MajorE       F#F# D MajorD
And in closing may I offer
   E MajorE        F#F#  D MajorD
This point must be succint
  E MajorE          F#F#  D MajorD
My purpose is for procreation
    E MajorE          C#C# D MajorD
And not facilitating in your sink.

Chorus:
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
  A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
If Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)
     A augmentedA         E MajorE       D MajorD
Stuey, if Stuart could talk (what would he say?)

Outro:
     A augmentedA       D MajorD   FF      D MajorD      A augmentedA  D MajorD FF
Well now, what would he say if Stuey could talk to me?
D MajorD     A augmentedA D MajorD
Talk to me
FF       D MajorD    A augmentedA
Stuey can you talk to me?

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Note: when playing a "typical" live version of the song, the interlude often begins with a snippet
of the Barney the Dinosaur theme ("I love you, you love me...") and the last line of the outro would
typically segue into a twisted cover of The Who's "See Me Feel Me/Listening to Stu".