The Miracle Of Birth chords by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast
Guitar chords with lyrics
Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)
Key: D
Difficulty: Novice
Intro:
D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm
Verse 1:
D Bm
Of all the mystery and wonder
D Bm
And beauty on this earth
D A Bm
Nothing can compare to
G A D
The miracle of birth
Bm
Well your cervix has been closed
D
And plugged with mucus
Bm
But soon that viscous plug
A
Will be discharged
It'??s called the bloody show!
D Bm
And explosive diarrhea
D A Bm
Means that labor's drawing nearer
Em
And those sharp painful contractions
A
Cause your cervix to enlarge
Beautiful!
D
Then you race your ass
Bm D
Over to the hospital
Where they'll strap you in
Bm A
For the hell ride of your life
It's what your body's made for
D Bm
You'??ll soon be in so much pain
D A Bm
That you'??ll probably exclaim
Em
"Please just kill me now
A
Doctor, doula, or midwife!"
Chorus:
G D
Tear, tear, tear
A
Goes your vagina!
G
Never will it be
D A
Its cute little self again
G
But the good news is
D A Bm
If you have a few more kids
Em
The rest will basically
A D
Plop right out
Verse 2:
Bm
After hours and hours
D
Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Bm A
Throw up as you bear down
Cause you'??re a goddess!
D
And though you'??ve never
Bm
Been this tired ??Wait!
D A Bm
Here comes the ring of fire
Em
That's your vagina bursting
A
Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
Chorus:
G D
Burn, burn, burn
A
Goes your vagina!
G
And you'??ll curse and scream
D A
Until you hear a cry!
It's your baby!
G
And oops! There it went-a
D A Bm
That was the placenta
Em
Which you must expel
A D
Or you will surely die!
Verse 3:
D
When it'??s all over they place
Bm D
The baby on your breast
Bm
You may be happy for a moment
A
But then for months you'??ll be depressed
D Bm
'Cause you'??ve wrecked your life and body
D Bm
You'??ll think "What's it really worth?"
D A Bm Em A D
All that for the miracle of birth! Last updated:
Please rate for accuracy!