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Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E) Key: D Difficulty: Novice Intro: D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm Verse 1: D Bm Of all the mystery and wonder D Bm And beauty on this earth D A Bm Nothing can compare to G A D The miracle of birth Bm Well your cervix has been closed D And plugged with mucus Bm But soon that viscous plug A Will be discharged
It'??s called the bloody show!
D Bm
And explosive diarrhea
D A Bm
Means that labor's drawing nearer
Em
And those sharp painful contractions
A
Cause your cervix to enlarge
Beautiful!
D
Then you race your ass
Bm D
Over to the hospital
Where they'll strap you in
Bm A
For the hell ride of your life
It's what your body's made for
D Bm
You'??ll soon be in so much pain
D A Bm
That you'??ll probably exclaim
Em
"Please just kill me now
A
Doctor, doula, or midwife!"
Chorus:
G D
Tear, tear, tear
A
Goes your vagina!
G
Never will it be
D A
Its cute little self again
G
But the good news is
D A Bm
If you have a few more kids
Em
The rest will basically
A D
Plop right out
Verse 2:
Bm
After hours and hours
D
Of utter torture
You may poop yourself and/or
Bm A
Throw up as you bear down
Cause you'??re a goddess!
D
And though you'??ve never
Bm
Been this tired ??Wait!
D A Bm
Here comes the ring of fire
Em
That's your vagina bursting
A
Into flames as the head
Starts to crown
Chorus:
G D
Burn, burn, burn
A
Goes your vagina!
G
And you'??ll curse and scream
D A
Until you hear a cry!
It's your baby!
G
And oops! There it went-a
D A Bm
That was the placenta
Em
Which you must expel
A D
Or you will surely die!
Verse 3:
D
When it'??s all over they place
Bm D
The baby on your breast
Bm
You may be happy for a moment
A
But then for months you'??ll be depressed
D Bm
'Cause you'??ve wrecked your life and body
D Bm
You'??ll think "What's it really worth?"
D A Bm Em A D
All that for the miracle of birth!
The Miracle Of Birth Chords Info
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Chords: E, A, D, G, B, Bm, Em