Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E) REBECCA: C It's come to this Am Like I knew it would Dm Since I'm now G Single for good C I know just what Am I gotta do Dm G I gotta go get myself C A fuckton of cats!
HEATHER, PAULA, & VALENCIA: E A fuckton of cats! REBECCA: F A fuckton of cats! HEATHER, PAULA, & VALENCIA: C Way too many cats! REBECCA: C G When you're a permanent bachelorette Dm G It's mandatory that you go out and get C A fuckton of cats! Am Dm G Oh yeah! C Am I walk myself down to the lonely lady cat store Dm G The smell is overwhelming inside C Am This is the future smell of my house Dm G It's the smell of my dreams that have died CAT STORE EMPLOYEE: And cats! REBECCA: C Am I walk up to the cat shelf Dm G Where the cats are labeled big and small C Am The sales lady asks, "Is there one you like?" Dm G And I state, "I'll take them all!" C I want a fuckton of cats! CATS: E Meow! A fuckton of cats! REBECCA: F Gimme a fuckton of cats! CATS: C Meow! A fuckton of cats! Meow! REBECCA: Gm The sales lady's pumped Fm She's closing early Gm Fm And heading home to her sad walk-up apartment Dm G C Filled with her own fuckton of cats! CATS: E Meow, meow, meow REBECCA: F That she got at a discount CATS: C Meow, meow, meow REBECCA: C 'Cause she works at the cat store CATS: E Meow, meow, meow F Meow, meow, meow C Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Am E Why have cats, over time, become Am E Synonymous with loneliness? Am E We gotta work on our collective image Am E We need a new publicist Dm G The ironic part is we're not that friendly Dm G If you're lonely, we might make it worse Dm G Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day Dm G Have you considered getting a dog? REBECCA: C Nope! I want a fuckton of you guys! CATS: E Okay, we warned you REBECCA: F A fuckton of cats! CATS: C We're gonna ruin your couch REBECCA: C E There's a lot of evidence that F G Organisms in cat poop make you crazy CATS: C E F G Yes, we saw that article in the Atlantic C E And then we peed on the Atlantic REBECCA: F C But I still want a fuckton of cats!
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