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🎸
🎸 Intro: Hey baby, uh, it's me Um, our anniversary's comin' up, it's a pretty big one Dm Em And, um I wrote a song for you Am Dm Em Am So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, um I want the song to begin with this voicemail Dm Em Like I want the voicemail to play at the beginning of it Am Dm Em So, if you could just download this voicemail when you get it and then text it to me Am Dm Em Um, you might need to, like, download another app to download the — Am Dm Em I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone, you might need to, like— Am Dm Just Google it, don't call me and ask me Em 'Cause I know I know what you're gonna do Am You're gonna, you're gonna get this
And you're gonna think you just can't do it
Dm Em
And you're gonna call me, but then I'm just gonna Google it
Am
So, just you Google it, you're an adult, you can figure it out
Dm Em Am
Um, so just, figure it out and text me the voicemail
Um, immediately, if you wouldn't mind
Dm Em
Like, right when you get this
Am
Thank you, um
I love you, bye
🎸 Verse 1:
Dm Em Am
You're my best friend
I love you
Dm Em Am
You know me and I know you
Dm Em Am
We got problems that we've been through
Dm Em Am
We got **** that we'll get through, uh
Dm Em
You think I'm rude to you
Am
You think I am the worst
Dm Em
Because I ask when you suck my ****
Am
You take out your Invisalign first
come on
🎸 Chorus:
Dm Em
Five years, five years
Am
Still you, still me, still here
Dm Em
Five years, five years, baby
Am
Five years, five years
🎸 Verse 2:
Am
We order Chinese
I'm eating my dumplings
Dm
You reach over and you take my dumpling
Em Am
You don't even say, "Do you mind " or nothing
Dm
Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling?
Em Am
So I look at you, you look back at me, like, "What the **** did I do "
Dm Em
If you really wanted some dim sum then
Am Dm Em
You really should've gotten some when we put in the order
Am
You say, "You're a psycho and I-I don't wanna fight
Dm Em Am
So, let's just drop this, it's not a big deal"
Dm
"Okay, but for the record
Em Am Dm Em
You owe me a dumpling
I mean it
I won't forget
Am
You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent"
🎸 Chorus:
Dm Em
Five years, five years
Am
Still you, still me, still here
Dm Em
Five years, five years, baby
Am
Five years, five years
🎸 Verse 3:
Dm Em
We found a spider in the house
Am
You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch
Dm Em Am
Since I was close and able
I jumped up on the coffee table
Dm Em
You said, "You should kill that"
Am
I said, "Um, no, **** that"
Dm Em Am
You said, "Come on, be a man"
What?
Dm Em Am
You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter
Dm Em
But your whole worldview collapses
Am Dm
The moment there's a spider, cool
Em
I get it, this is the real you
Am
It's a pleasure, nice to meet you
Dm Em
**** like this brings the movement down
Am
Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around
🎸 Chorus:
Dm Em
Five years, five years
Am
Still you, still me, still here
Dm Em
Five years, five years, baby
Am
Five years, five years
🎸 Outro:
Dm Em Am
How come every time I need to take a poo in the bathroom
Dm
You out of the blue need to use the bathroom?
Em Am
Just use the guest room bathroom
Dm
That's why we got two bathrooms
Em Am
Just use the guest room bathroom
Dm Em
That's why we got two bath rooms
Am
And you know
Song History
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