Chords with lyrics
🤘 Verse 1:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into
Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
G+G D MajorD
It had been a While. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that
midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
G+G
I had picked up this Hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of
D MajorD
Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
A augmentedA D MajorD
Well, that night I lost myself To ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.
🤘 Chorus:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
G+G D MajorD
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
G+G
Well I find it's quite a thrill
D MajorD
When she grinds me against her will
A augmentedA D MajorD
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
🤘 Verse 2:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
G+G
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
D MajorD
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled,
G+G
Had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would
D MajorD
wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance.
A augmentedA
And Then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation.
D MajorD
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Chorus
🤘 Verse 3:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says,
G+G
"Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a
D MajorD
lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on
Santa Claus's tummy-tum?
G+G
"Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm
D MajorD
parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
A augmentedA
Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit
D MajorD
it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby Formula.
Chorus
🤘 Verse 4:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The
Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
G+G
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw
D MajorD
Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.
G+G
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
D MajorD
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the
A augmentedA
One-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler.
D MajorD
I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Chorus
🤘 Outro:
D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD A augmentedA D MajorD A augmentedA (till fade)